Singles hear all the time, “It’s just a date; meet him for an hour,” but what people who have gotten married even two months prior seem to forget is beside the emotional bandwidth allocated to date, there is an opportunity cost and economics spinoff of what we could be otherwise engaged in as well (pun well intended).

1. Opportunity Cost: Opportunity cost refers to the value of the best alternative given up when choosing. For example, if you decide to go on said “just a coffee date”; it's not shayich, and you didn't want to go out to begin with, you miss out on a night to do all the things that make you feel whole; read, go out with a friend, go to an exercise/shiur/college class, etc.

There are certain behaviors and nuances, if you will, that when dating if all is going well, we look away. After all, we are looking to get married and “ make it work,” but once a shidduch is comfortably over, it’s good to acknowledge the pink flags; and this isn’t a dig at guys. I’m sure in reverse, there’s a meta-list for the girls…

The nice thing about sheer, besides it being "eidel," is that even if it gets chipped, you don't have to run to get it redone right away. Kind of like the dates themselves, the first can be perfectly fresh, a topcoat is strong, the second date is still clean, but some nails (convo) are beginning to lose some of their sheen and on the third, there are chips entirely. When the shidduch ends, I don't go back to get my nails done the morning after. I usually take it off myself, allow my nails some time to breathe (metaphor again), and until the next time…

I was talking to someone about marketing in a dating context. He asked why I’m not such a fan of speed dating events; It’s because I feel it leads to overexposure and seeming over availability,

What about the remarketing he challenged? Like if you meet someone a few times and the idea of going outgrows on you? This made me think of Inbound marketing ;)

I prefer organic marketing then, just to be seen on the street, and should someone think of me…

There are some Malachim who are hard of hearing ;) and so even though a name like Yaakov Shlomo is called out malachim hear varying renditions- and when it’s time to meet these potentials, the fragmented name game is what ensues - this post goes out to the puzzle pieces who are part of our overall portraits. Yaakovs, Moshes, Naftalis, Yosefs, Avrahams, Tzvis, Srulis, Micheals* ;)

Mrs. Lisa Elefant, the spearhead of the Adopt a Shadchan organization, is so forward-thinking. It's not for nothing that I as a single feel so comfortable to reach out, and not just to say, "Hi, remember me, I'm still available" but to bounce ideas off Mrs. Elefant. There's an approachability in discussing new opportunities - not merely to ride but to harness the shidduch waves. When Lisa reached out and asked if I'd be open to joining a shidduch chat of hashkaficalaly/like-minded singles who would meet each other in groups over Zoom, I was hesitant to join this new platform of shidduch dating. (Dating is complicated enough, throw in some bad lighting, and weak WIFI and things would get interesting.) But like my peers, there was an innate trust, and I was game.