Jan 6

Jan 6 Accounts Receivable/Payable: Dating Edition

Like all the areas that we anticipate to end in a state of equilibrium, there is a give-and-take roadmap that leads us there: accounts receivable (A/R) and accounts payable (A/P), if you will.

Similar to a financial ledger, relationships involve investments, debts, and the constant pursuit of reconciliation.

Here are 10 relatable dating scenarios that mirror the dynamics of A/R and A/P:

The Emotional Baggage/Unload Loan: This applies to those occasions where the date feels more like a one-sided therapy session; one party overshares with the listening, emotionally attuned party, and instead of hoping to hear back from the shadchan, what they should expect is a receipt and diagnostic code.
Aging Report: When the picture you were given doesn’t resemble the person you are meeting at all. Instead of relaying that you feel blindsided, and while they are still the same person, you almost want to say it’s a disservice to send an outdated circa 2015 photo.
Invoice: If one party extols a lot of effort (even though yes, each party is responsible for their give and take,) but if, e.g., he spends “x” amount on a lavish dinner and she gets the salad for lunch tomorrow and the dessert to go, and then she’s the one to end things without much explanation I think an invoice here and there is fair to balance the books.
Credit Terms: The agreed-upon terms for the payment of an invoice; in a dating capacity, I would frame this to the unspoken expectations per time frame. E.g., the fifth date should be a relationship turning point; on the 8th, things should be…by the 12th…
Bad Debt: Is unrecoverable amounts from customers who fail to pay. This is akin to one’s Shem in the dating pool. Your name is worth its weight in gold. If when asked about you by a fellow girl/guy because they may have dated you or met at an event, and there is positive to say in your credit - this is priceless.
Collections: When guys (or girls) want to attend an event to knock out 20-30 prospects.
Credit Limit: Burnout. When our emotional bank is maxed out. We’re not done wanting to meet someone and move forward. But the community effort bank is just crispy. When you don’t want to go on any dates that “can go either way” or meet your neighbor's cousin who is here over the weekend just because “he’s here” or the event coming up seems like one giant vortex of seeing dates of last year's past + painful situationships.
Payment Terms: Taking the dating journey by the horns, joining or leaving dating sites, asking the shadchan to meet or not meet the guy in a place that works for you, and playing roulette in a way that empowers you to replenish your depleted account.
Discount: When the shadchan calls you up a day after your birthday to redt you someone that was not an idea to begin with, but now that you're a year older- she feels this is the right bargaining chip.
Accruals: the expenses incurred but not yet paid :) All those add it to the tab because I’m in shidduchim funds…the belts, watches, hair blowouts, shopping sprees, shoes, dresses to kill because “he will be at that wedding,” impromptu vacations because #Single&Solo ;)