Courted In Corona
When "lucky number xy" was suggested, I had a feeling that this might be it.
On paper it wasn't as shayich as "my usual," but there was something about the way this shidduch was suggested, or even the fact that a shadchan who hasn't set up or met either of us prior (I found that out from him date number 3), definitely gave me a dose of hope. Also, his references were all sincere and the information was cohesive. This guy is a mentch with middos- he will make a fine husband- if it's a match, you both are very lucky k”h.
Usually, when my mother comes to usher me before a first date, I get the rundown before the fun even starts...I can read my mother's face like a book.
"He has shmeichel, tochen and a warm smile, I think you’ll like him.”
This was a couple of weeks before Purim.
B”h things were progressing nicely, our dates were batampte, albeit there was always an underlying corona foreboding, (talk about current events...no lull in conversations here :)
By the time Corona was entirely here, we were beginning date number 5. He asked his Rav what the protocol was seeing as this whole situation is unprecedented for us all. For that specific day/date, the Rav paskined something along the lines that if something is necessary, it can be done and that we must remain 6 feet away from each other at all times. This meant we came by separate cars, met in the park, and he even had to warn me once or twice to keep a solid 6-foot geder. I told him never did I think on a shidduch date a guy would have to ask me to "stay away."
This is where it gets tricky in terms of continuing to see each other. B”h, I'm lucky to be dating such a great guy and this is part of my, our story.
There are kallas who got engaged Chanukah time, their spring weddings planned for now.
I heard two of them speak over teleconference; they both felt it was kidai to impart the same message.
One, that each kallah should acknowledge the fact that she is getting married to her wonderful chosson, yes, sans the simchadig accouterments that she envisioned for her wedding since she was a little girl. But the Simcha of getting married would not be marred. Not by the people who choose to impose a pity party of "you don't even have your grandparents or close friends by your chuppah" nor the niggling internal voice that makes one feel shvach by default. Hair and makeup artists are rising to these occasions. I know people who are still honoring their clients virtually, at no cost—providing a full step by step consultation on these queens’ special day.
Message number two was that of Emunah. Hashem felt these couples have the koach to withstand this nisayon, and not just withstand, but grow exponentially. This is definitely "one for the grandkids."
The shadchan who is still our go-between told my mother that the other two shidduchim she was working on dropped the ball. One because the father of the girl tested positive, and they were supposed to have a first date right before quarantine, and for right now, they didn't want their first date to be through skype. And The other wasn't shayich to withstand...both saw a side in each other that lent clarity.
I saw a funny meme that lends great perspective.
"If you're dating a guy amidst Corona, ask yourself, would you want to be locked up with this person in quarantine for an indefinite amount of time? If so marry him...if not, cough :)"
No one is getting married yet, but I don't want to cough. Or even blink. Because I know that although this circumstance isn't ideal for meeting a new person, it might be just the perfect situation for us, to realize who is in control, and that timing is always in Hashem's hands.
P.S. it didn’t work out with this specific “one,” he’s a great guy, we’re just not for each other. Dating amidst corona taught me so much- about myself and that even amidst times of crisis- there are people who are not larger than life, but they do make the world go round.
