I want you to think of my Rosé Attaché as your arsenal of been there’s and done that’s.
This is my gift to you, a collaborative hub of my own tried and true’s.
I wish I knew then to believe, that someone, he, can and will come along- those little things that I thought we’d have to learn to “get” about the other, would be nonexistent. He’d speak my language and I’d smile easily. No second-guessing little comments, thinking twice before voicing my actual thoughts- his quips woldnt’t seem misplaced, like cues to deeper secrets that I didn’t want to know.
I'm a pretty decisive person, when I know I know- dating someone a first time and thinking it not a fit is one thing, trying 2 years later a second time is being Yotzei the process (his word). Pursuing someone 2 years later for a third time is a whole different declaration. It's dating feelings on steroids.
Singles hear all the time, “It’s just a date; meet him for an hour,” but what people who have gotten married even two months prior seem to forget is beside the emotional bandwidth allocated to date, there is an opportunity cost and economics spinoff of what we could be otherwise engaged in as well (pun well intended).
1. Opportunity Cost: Opportunity cost refers to the value of the best alternative given up when choosing. For example, if you decide to go on said “just a coffee date”; it's not shayich, and you didn't want to go out to begin with, you miss out on a night to do all the things that make you feel whole; read, go out with a friend, go to an exercise/shiur/college class, etc.
Not just because “The Summer I Turned Pretty” by Jenny Han was actually my favorite book series before it was a #thing. POV reading the books while in the country, circa 8th grade totally making the local Shauls, Dovid’s and Eli’s my versions of Conrad and Jerimiah (and yes, it was all in my head :) and no names have not been changed.*
According to Babby,
I'm nem seip. I'm special and have everything going for me.
I'm not married yet because I haven't found the right man to appreciate my mix of brains, beauty and getrai.
Why should she think otherwise?
Every time I visit her, and babby asks me if I went out lately, I regal her with tales of my latest date.
He's always tall;
Always smart, funny and warm.
Ever fantasized about dating a doctor? The ambitious nature, the brains- the scrubs (those arms ;)
There's a lot of prestige to it. Plus you don't have to lie to your grandmother when you say “yes, of course I’m being squired by a doctor.”
There are certain behaviors and nuances, if you will, that when dating if all is going well, we look away. After all, we are looking to get married and “ make it work,” but once a shidduch is comfortably over, it’s good to acknowledge the pink flags; and this isn’t a dig at guys. I’m sure in reverse, there’s a meta-list for the girls…
Targeted singles Shabbaton is what I mean. To give context, I'm talking about smaller groups of singles for a Shabbaton, e.g., 20/20 or 12/12, versus a "Camp-like Shabbaton" where you meet everyone and no one. We're talking cozy enough to remember each other's names by the end of the Shabbos, and not because they were the "it" boy.
Okay, let's discuss this first; there's always an "it boy." As my friend, Leah would joke- and use my verbiage, he is gelungin and has schmeichel, he carries the suave air about him that post shabbos you want to make the "so who is getting your first impression rose" joke.
The nice thing about sheer, besides it being "eidel," is that even if it gets chipped, you don't have to run to get it redone right away. Kind of like the dates themselves, the first can be perfectly fresh, a topcoat is strong, the second date is still clean, but some nails (convo) are beginning to lose some of their sheen and on the third, there are chips entirely. When the shidduch ends, I don't go back to get my nails done the morning after. I usually take it off myself, allow my nails some time to breathe (metaphor again), and until the next time…
I was talking to someone about marketing in a dating context. He asked why I’m not such a fan of speed dating events; It’s because I feel it leads to overexposure and seeming over availability,
What about the remarketing he challenged? Like if you meet someone a few times and the idea of going outgrows on you? This made me think of Inbound marketing ;)
I prefer organic marketing then, just to be seen on the street, and should someone think of me…
There are some Malachim who are hard of hearing ;) and so even though a name like Yaakov Shlomo is called out malachim hear varying renditions- and when it’s time to meet these potentials, the fragmented name game is what ensues - this post goes out to the puzzle pieces who are part of our overall portraits. Yaakovs, Moshes, Naftalis, Yosefs, Avrahams, Tzvis, Srulis, Micheals* ;)
Mrs. Lisa Elefant, the spearhead of the Adopt a Shadchan organization, is so forward-thinking. It's not for nothing that I as a single feel so comfortable to reach out, and not just to say, "Hi, remember me, I'm still available" but to bounce ideas off Mrs. Elefant. There's an approachability in discussing new opportunities - not merely to ride but to harness the shidduch waves. When Lisa reached out and asked if I'd be open to joining a shidduch chat of hashkaficalaly/like-minded singles who would meet each other in groups over Zoom, I was hesitant to join this new platform of shidduch dating. (Dating is complicated enough, throw in some bad lighting, and weak WIFI and things would get interesting.) But like my peers, there was an innate trust, and I was game.
By the time Corona was entirely here, we were beginning date number 5. He asked his Rav what the protocol was seeing as this whole situation is unprecedented for us all. For that specific day/date, the Rav paskined something along the lines that if something is necessary, it can be done and that we must remain 6 feet away from each other at all times. This meant we came by separate cars, met in the park, and he even had to warn me once or twice to keep a solid 6-foot geder. I told him never did I think on a shidduch date a guy would have to ask me to "stay away."
I’m super starving
We got lemon-lime seltzer specifically for you. It’s okay to drink
You look good in green
I went out with two of your friends/references
I know I was redt to you by three different shadchanim- so when I say “it’s not shayich” I will let these three different shadchanim know
He's spearheading the "he's 21, just ask" initiative and plans to show up in 5 years when he's "eligible."
His mother didn't like your dress at the wedding, so he's waiting for the next mutual friend’s vort, how is this the girls’ fault?
The pump outside your house is out of service, so he's circling the neighborhood looking for parking.
