There are many parallels between buying a car and finding your "person," not to be melodramatic, but hear me out.

Both are a first "big decision," both are long-term investments, both come in a multitude of versions, both are a reflection of your "brand," and both gear you to get from point A to point B.

I was in the market for a vehicle for a while; I kept posting, “looking for a car, know a guy?” and the joke was my friends would retort, “what if I know a guy, with a car ;)”

I had my car criteria. Something with character, not the standard lease du jour, leather interior, sunroof if preferable, Sedan-small yet sturdy- luxuryish but not German, and a demure atypical color.

I also didn't want to finance it through the bank and be beholden for the next 3-5 years plus interest. So it "had to be within my budget" a non-lemon, under 35K street mileage (highway miles I was OK with, got schooled on pothole), and wouldn't be crazy in terms of the insurance. Oh, and it had to be 2016 and up, practically a baby.

Funny enough, in terms of gadgets, I specifically didn't want a backup camera; I think parallel parking is becoming a lost art, so I was prepared to get a newish model and nix the backup camera.

My father kept sending me links of what a crazy car market we're in. Car chips are discontinued; used cars that would normally retail for 20K we're being sold for above their MSRP. I was going nowhere fast ;)

There were a few close ones- and with each one, it felt like this was it. Mostly I vetted them through sites like Carvana and Vroom, and the occasional walk by a used car dealer. None were perfect, each was within the framework of what I was looking for, but I was beginning to be flexible on what was important to me. I stopped looking for a sunroof and started searching for cars with higher mileage; I even nixed leather, which was a biggie for me. A few almost went to contract, and then right before I'd be slapped with a 5K service surcharge from the third party site, or I'd find out that insurance would be astronomical because of the "luxury parts," or that I was outbid in the 9th hour. Each time I reframed my criteria. At some point, when I spoke to someone pleased with their lease, I almost believed myself when I said I'll never find a car, or at least not one that makes me feel comfortable.

Fast forward to Wednesday of that same week. I was walking on the ave of a different part of town, headed towards a work event; off to the street side, I noticed a classic-looking used car dealer shop, shiny and gritty all at the same time. There was a Buick that caught my eye- I inquired about it and the nice car dealer, let's call him David, told me he'd find out from his partner what the story is and get back to me. Five minutes later, he called me and let me know, like a bad heart, the engine of the Buick isn't good- if I were his daughter, he'd pass on this one. But, in true used-car-salesman fashion, he continued, "there's a small white car I want you to look at.” “No thanks- I don't like white…but thank you for getting back to me.”

On my way back from the work event, I don't know what drew me, but I figured let me just see what else is available. In the corner, I saw a sporty Volvo. It had character; it wasn't German, the sticker price seemed right. It was pearly white. When I saw it for myself- I just knew.

That's the funny thing; they always say when it's "it," the process just goes- no pulling teeth. That very same hour, I drove it to my mechanic to get the go-ahead, B" H I did- and he even helped me finagle a rate with the car dealer, Yalla Chabibi.

This little Sedan has so much of what I was initially looking for in a different package. It's older than I was prepared to consider initially but put into the perspective of cars that "live up to 250K mileage” seems OK, also, it's white- I never even entertained a white car, but on this model, it's iridescent versus stark. As far as features? It has the random pitchafkas that I long gave up on- leather, sunroof…it even doesn't have a backup camera :)

I learned to be open to the process and am continuously being schooled- when you least expect it, this is when the magic happens. Vroom Vroom.

This post is dedicated liluy nishmas my grandmother Malka -s Avraham Yaakov, who “sent me this car.” I found it the week of her shiva, and she would be the first to say, you don’t need a car but if it makes you happy…” Thank you, Bobby.

as featured in Mishpacha Magazine,