Law & Order
Law & Order
Don’t be afraid when your dreams change, and never let other people define you or your future.
By: Numi Perla
These were the most important lessons I learned from my journey, and to fully illustrate these lessons so that you can effectively internalize them, I need to tell you my story and how I ended up going to law school.
Before law school, I had my whole career mapped out, and I promise it had nothing to do with law. I was a dancer. I grew up dancing, and that is what I knew. My dreams were always filled with weaving melodies and swaying bodies, and all I wanted was to continuously have the language of dance in my life. Although I still found some dance class or studio to be a part of, I grew up feeling that a professional institution for Jewish girls did not exist. There wasn’t an establishment that allowed religious girls to come and learn the proper techniques for dancing in a professional setting. There wasn’t an easily accessible place for Jewish girls to come even as teenagers and not feel embarrassed that dancing was for children or plays. Therefore, from a young age, if you asked me what I was going to be when I grew up, I would steadfastly answer, “I am going to open up a dance school as big as Julliard for Jewish girls.”
As I got older, I did come to the realization that my dream may have been going a bit too far in that dancing could not be a career for religious girls, so a school like that would not make sense. Over time, I began to tailor my idea, and it became more about self-expression but in a way that reflected the professional dancing that exists in the world, and it became less about a dance school. I started bringing this dream to reality when I came home from seminary and immediately started my business degree to learn how to run a business. I put together dance classes, and I began retaking lessons for myself to perfect my skills. At one point during my first semester, I was teaching three classes, taking a private hip hop class, a contemporary private class, and a private Arial class. I am laying this all out for you to fully understand how far I went in attempting to make my dream come true.
After all the work I put in, I was then confronted with the truth. I didn’t like teaching dance. This realization was uncomfortable in that it forced me to confront my worst fear, that my dream would not become my reality and that who I always claimed to be may have been a lie. I still love dancing, and I love being a dance student, but I had no desire to teach it. With that realization came the understanding that the girl who loved to dance also loved to use her mind. I remembered that I always worked hard in school and excelled in academia. I began to understand that dance was just one facet of who I was and that I needed something that would push me to use my mind in a way that dance could never do. And so, I was faced with the daunting realization that dance was merely a hobby, and my future was now unclear. It was no longer a tangible goal, but I felt as though my future had become insubstantial and had slipped right through my fingers.
It was through my business law class during my second semester of college that I found law. This class was my first introduction to the legal world, and I was immediately propelled onto a new path that I knew absolutely nothing about. Not a single person in my immediate family, extended family, friends, or their families were lawyers that I knew of. The one lawyer I knew was my sister’s friend, who I had nothing to do with. I knew that if I embarked on this journey, not only would I lack guidance, but I would be potentially facing an uphill battle in that I was choosing a path that not many religious girls follow. I realized that I may face backlash or ignorant comments and that I would need a thick skin to make this leap.
Therefore, I started to conduct as much research as I could. I contacted lawyers, both men, and women, to ask them questions and pick their brains on their experiences. To be clear, female religious lawyers exist, they are just few and far between, but if you look for them, you can find them. After some time, I knew that this was what I needed to do. Yes, it was scary to let go of who I was. My entire life, I was known as the dancer. There were many times where I would meet girls who would recognize me from camp as “the dancer” and call me as such. My identity was so tied up with this persona that, in all honesty, I was terrified to let it go. I was moving from a place of creativity, expression, and freedom to an area that was more about logic, rational thought, and in a way, confinement. However, I believed that this would satisfy a large part of who I was and that I would need to learn how to weave these two parts of myself into one. Although dance was no longer what I wanted for my career, I still find ways to nurture my creative side. I still dance, albeit on my own time, and just for fun, I read a lot and love poetry. I know one day, some form of that studio will come to fruition. I let go of one path, but that didn’t mean I needed to let go of that whole part of me.
I not only faced trepidation with making this decision because it would be a drastic change for me, but it was also about how other people would react to this decision. I want to make it clear that you should not be afraid of the backlash or the fact that you may be one of 10 or 20 girls making this decision. When I made the decision and told my family and friends, I was comforted when people accepted it with open arms and even acquiesced that this made sense for me. Sure, I dealt with ignorant comments. Many having to do with dating and the possibility of me being a mother and a lawyer as if they are mutually exclusive. But I never let them get to me because I believed in myself and what I wanted. I wasn’t going to allow other people to determine my life and my personhood. It was me who I needed to face every day when I looked in the mirror, and I needed to be content with who was looking back.
In all honesty, most people reacted kindly and some in awe as if I was doing something amazing. It is not “amazing” what I chose to do; it is just that no one expects it. I want to emphasize that choosing a career in law will be hard. You need to want it and believe in it. However, it will also be wonderful and fulfilling. Although I have only completed my second year of law school, so I can’t fully speak to the responsibilities that I will have in the future, I made sure to speak to many female lawyers throughout my process. I have spoken to female lawyers both Jewish and not, married with kids, and single, and they all say it is possible to balance it all. Yes, there will be sacrifices, but ask any working woman or even mothers, in general, there are always sacrifices. Making hard decisions is just a way of life, and it is worth it when it is something important to you. I can promise you that you can find the right path within law that fits you and allows you to balance everything that you want in life. What it comes down to are perseverance, passion, and desire.
On a closing note, I want to reiterate the lessons that I hope you will take from my journey. One, it is okay to let go of your past, your plans, your dreams, and to embrace something new. Don’t be afraid to discover new parts of yourself as you grow older and let go of things that may no longer fit. Two, you can always find ways to intertwine parts of yourself into new and exciting ways. Three, only let you define who you want to be. You are strong, you are intelligent, and you will figure out what is right for you. You know what is important in your life, and you will find a way to balance being a religious woman who has a career. This applies to law and to any other career path you might choose. I have faith in you, so you should too.
Numi has completed her second year, and is a 3L J.D. candidate at NYU School of Law. Feel free to reach out here Numiperla@gmail.com.
