Grad School: Mom Edition

Grad School: Mom Edition

By: Tova Goldstien

Preface* Seeing my fave prince and princess (AND YOU!) always leaves me calmer. Blame it on the pheremones ;)

Diaper bag? Check. Pump and equipment? Check. Textbooks, pens, dinner? Check, check, check.
Just a day in the life of a grad student doubling as Mom to two babies under two.
As a disclaimer, no, I would not recommend this to be a choice for anybody. But life doesn't always follow carefully planned out trajectories, so here I am.
As a woman in the trenches, here is what I have learned- and while I'm talking about these two specific things, it can apply to anybody juggling multiple roles.

First and foremost, do NOT expect to be perfect. I can't be #Supermom (hardly) and A+++ valedictorian student. Honestly, that's okay. I don't bake Challah, cakes, or cookies, and yes, sometimes supper is scrambled eggs. When I look at the syllabus of any class, the first thing that I do is calculate which assignments need to be focused on and which can be handed in without much effort. I'm not aiming for 100% average in every class; a nice 90 will suffice. When my classmates freak out about the little stuff, I sit back, sunglasses on, feet up and smile, thinking "chilllll girls, that only will amount to 1% of your total weighted grade.”

Secondly, be kind to yourself. Recognize what you are doing. On any given day, I can change ten plus diapers, serve up to three meals, multiple bottles, handle temper tantrums, listen to Uncle Moishe on repeat without losing my marbles, and then sit through a three-hour class COVID style. (When things are normal, I schlep a baby cross-town, leave class in the middle to pump, pick the baby up and head back home- for a total of around five hours of go-go-go.) What's on your plate? If you do an accounting of all the little things, they are truly what matters. If you sit back and honestly evaluate, you will probably find that all the little things that you have accomplished are worth a lot more than the one big thing you skipped, forgot about, or didn't pass with flying colors. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate what kind of measuring stick you judge yourself. After all, if you try to give 100% to all the things pulling at you, you'll burn out before you have a chance to get to the things that are truly meaningful to you.
Lastly and maybe most importantly, don't forget to laugh! If you can find anything small to laugh at (even *gasp* yourself), it can bring joy even amidst the hectic craziness you find yourself in.

This chica doesn’t have a cookbook or thesis paper yet…but mark my words. #adventurecontinues #mitmazal