She’s A Fixerupper
She’s A Fixerupper
By: Hanna Kahana Dating Consultant & Certified life coach
“Mommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?”, came the question from the back seat, as my son and I talked about our various career plans while running some errands together. He decided on chef and singer. I think somehow, his six-year-old self knew that although I had a job, I didn’t have a career. I wasn’t doing what brought me joy (although paychecks,and Chinese food do bring a certain amount of joy). I had always been a people person.Being the youngest of eleven gave me more than enough material to work with. There was always a “willing” audience for me to preform and dress up for. It wouldn’t be till years later however, when I had already retired all my petticoats, that I would really get to work with people on a whole different stage.
I was sitting at work one day (the aforementioned place I was getting paychecks from that my son didn’t recognize as a career) when a co-worker I was friendly with, but by no means close to , asked if we could talk about something that was bothering her. As we moved to a more secure location (the water cooler was not known to keep secrets well) she expressed her concern regarding her upcoming wedding.
She was nervous and wanted some affirmation that the feelings she was experiencing were normal. I assured her that they were completely normal, and we had a nice conversation that put her mind at ease. On the other hand, I was left with shock and discomfort (not the type you see listed for side effects on a new diet pill; those were my actual feelings). I was really surprised to find that this girl had no one to talk her through the most basic feelings one encounters regarding relationships. It made me realize that our system of “helpers” such as therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, was missing a category. Where can people who don’t have a serious problem but still need some good advice turn to?! There had to be an option out there, especially for young girls trying to find their way as they were being catapulted into adulthood. I knew this question wouldn’t be solved on my lunch break, so I decided to pitch in where I could. ( No I did not whip out the petticoats or stage glitter ) I decided to start by talking with each engaged friend that I thought would be receptive to what I had to say. I made sure to convey that marriage was not going to be a honeymoon 24/7, and that it was normal to have disagreements. It was normal to need your own time; it doesn’t mean you don’t love each other...etc.
The more I spoke, the more I realized that the most common of thoughts and emotions still needed to be discussed. Things that were basic, obvious, and logical, still needed to be said and reviewed. And so, many lunch breaks later, I decided to become certified and add myself to the category of “helpers.” To this day, each time I can help someone through a tough time, be it with dating, a career choice, or even through an engagement period, it gives me all the feelz.
Through all my experiences, I have come to learn how each person truly comes with their own positive and negative attributes that make up who they are. Therefore, it would be silly to judge someone unfavorably because you are only viewing one side of a 3D image. We are not one dimensional with only black and white feelings and actions. We are complex and complicated, and we all deserve a judgment-free zone ( I do not work for Planet Fitness, nor did they approve that message ).
I was once told by a matchmaker who I was working with,” I have never made any matches, but at least after 120, I can say I tried”. That is something that has always stuck with me. I may not be perfect, and I may not always be able to fix everyone’s problems, but atleast I can say I tried.
Hannah Kahana’s bio says it all, one thing I’d add? Most solidly real, thoughtful expects nothing in return...that whoever is fortunate to be in her radius….Certified life coach 🥇 Aka ”The Fixer”🛠Relationship guidance 💜 Engagement survival techniques 🧯🔦🌟Your dating directory 📚 Glass half full kinda gal 🥃 .
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